National London's summer vacation
by gibergabber
Summary: We just met at this random store, and now, those two arses are staying for 2 weeks! Will Lily be able to survive? Will Sirius get into Julia's pants? Will Lily ever get over her hermophicalico Despetrictious disorder? Just warning you in advance, this story has no discernible plot. At all. Breaks my heart but UP FOR ADOPTION!
1. In which Lily meets up with Potter

Lily Evans stood against a wall, chest heaving, breathing hard. Her family looked at her worriedly before she grinned widely at them to show that nothing was the matter.

'I did not just see that! My mind must be playing tricks! Horrible, mean, awful tricks! It must be from lack of sleep!'

Peering cautiously out, she saw that it was indeed a mind trick. Grinning to herself, she took a step away from the wall, back towards her family, and away from that nasty, nasty vision. Shaking their heads at their youngest daughter's antics, her parents followed her.

"Where would you like to go now honey?" her mother asked her.

"Um, doesn't matter mum! Wherever you want to go!" she replied.

"Can we go into that Sport check over there then?" her father asked, his smile so broad, his eyes so hopeful, that none of the women he was with could say no.

"What got you so spooked Lil?" asked her older sister, Petunia. Petunia and Lily weren't great friends, and they hardly ever spoke anymore, not since they had all found out that Lily was a witch, 6 years ago.

"nothing sister dear, I thought that I saw-" she started but never finished, for the second time that day, she thought that she had seen that horrible vision. They had since arrived in the store, her father had taken off to look at the golfing stuff, and her mother the pretty jackets, leaving Petunia and Lily alone together.

"Thought you saw what?" asked her sister, annoyed.

"I thought I saw…" she looked around the aisle to see if he was still there, and indeed he was, so she took a step sharply backwards and motioned for her sister to come closer. "I thought I saw him!" she whispered into her sister's ear.

"Who, that cute boy with the long black hair and glasses?" Lily nodded furiously, making her sister shake her head at her.

"So, he's probably one of you lot, correct?" her sister asked her. Once again, Lily nodded.

"And I'm getting that you don't like him very much?" For a third time, Lily nodded.

"Well, in that case… I'm going over to talk to him! He must be anxious to see his old friend, Lily! Even if he isn't, he's not got too bad of a mug on him!" said Petunia, an evil look in her eyes.

Lily didn't get the implications of this until her sister was halfway towards James Potter. When she finally figured it out, she gave a cry of surprise, and the 17 year old Lily Evans ran out to stop her sister. Unfortunately for her, Petunia had already gotten to him.

"Hullo, my name is Petunia Evans. I hear that you're a school friend of my sister's." said Petunia, batting her eyelashes at him.

James Potter looked up to see who had addressed him. Seeing that it was a rather plain girl, and since he hadn't heard what she had said, he went back to what he had been doing previous. All of a sudden, he heard a loud cry of "Tuney, Don't!" He looked up once again, this time in surprise, for he had recognized that voice as none other than Lily Evan's.

"Hiya Lily-love! Fancy seeing you here, sweetheart!" he said, his face lighting up in pleasure. Petunia gaped when she heard the way this boy addressed her sister. Was she not the older? Was she not the prettier? Was she not the old who got everything that she wanted? And her was her younger, uglier, freak of a sister, getting flirted with by a boy who Petunia wouldn't mind dating? How was this fair? And judging from the look of annoyance on Lily's face, she didn't even like the flirting! How dare she!

"Oh, James, ya, I kind of live in this part of London… just around the corner in fact…" Lily said, not wanting to put down James in front of her sister.

"And what are you doing here James?" asked Petunia, smiling sweetly. James looked up, blinking in surprise at being addressed by Lily's sister. The surprise was gone the minute that he had a wonderful plan hatch in his mind.

"Oh, I'm here with my best mate Sirius and my parents on vacation doll face." he nearly cringed when he heard himself saying that.

"Serious?" Petunia blinked in innocent confusion.

"Sirius, S-I-R-I-U-S, Black." He said again, getting exasperated.

"Tuney, we should get back to our parents, I'm sure that they're getting anxious!" Lily said, exasperated. She could tell that James didn't actually want to flirt with her sister, so why was he?

"You're right freak! We should bring James along though, I'm sure that our parents would love to met one of your school friends that we're always hearing so much about!" Petunia was now on cloud nine. It excited her to see her sister squirm. "Assuming that James has no objections to coming and meeting our parents that is…" she said. She could tell that Lily was fighting inner turmoil. On the one hand, she never wanted her parents to meet James on the other, it was rude.

"Nope, I have none at all, though I should probably go and find Sirius sometime soon…" he started. He was elated at the thought of meeting Lily's parents.

"You go find your friend, and Lily and I will wait here! How does that sound?" Petunia cooed.

Lily inwardly laughed. Petunia plus the two most attractive marauders would be interesting… very interesting.

"So, what's this serious fellow like?" asked Petunia. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Hes got black hair, and dark eyes, hes rather tall, and an arrogant prick. He and Potter along with their other 2 friends makes up the marauders, though Sirius and Potter, as much as I hate to admit it are the two most attractive of the bunch." Lily told her sister.

"Are we now?" Lily froze when she heard the voice. As voice which could only belong to none other than Sirius Black.


	2. In which Potter gets a dinner invitation

"_He's got black hair, and dark eyes, he's rather tall, and an arrogant prick. He and Potter along with their other 2 friends makes up the marauders, though Sirius and Potter, as much as I hate to admit it are the two most attractive of the bunch." Lily told her sister._

"_Are we now?" Lily froze when she heard the voice. As voice which could only belong to none other than Sirius Black._

"Hello Black" Lily said, rather coldly.

"Hullo Evans! Potter here told me that he saw you, but I didn't believe him… how are you doing there, love?" Petunia was furious! Here was yet another, even cuter boy, flirting with her ugly, freak of a sister! What was the world coming to?

"Black, I'd like you to meet my charming sister, Petunia" Lily said in a dead pant. Petunia merely nodded.

"Lily, I was wondering if you'd like to-" James started.

"The answer's still no Potter, you arrogant toerag!" Lily answered before he could finish. Petunia gaped at her sister.

**As fiery as ever I see, awe, she's so cute when she's mad at me!**

"But Lily-"

_Why so persistant Potter? And that's Evans to you!_

"that's Evans to you Potter"

**Still not lily? Even after all this time?**

"But Evans!"

_Just shut up Potter, before I hex your nose off. I'm legal now, remember?_

"It didn't change in the last 5 minutes!"

"Well, I think that we should take these 2 to meet mum and dad now, don't you?" said Petunia rather loudly.

**Thank god for unattractive older sisters. That rejection stung.**

"Ya, let's go Pansy!" Sirius said, a huge grin on his face. He offered his elbow to Lily's sister, the movement causing his wand to be exposed a bit in his pocket.

_Oh! He's in hot water now! Wrong name, cute guy, and he has a wand! Oh my merlin! He's legal too! This is just too perfect! Never thought I'd say- er, think this, but thank you Sirius Black!_

"you've… you've… you've got a-a-a w-wand!" Petunia stuttered. Sirius looked around before pulling it out, an even bigger grin plastered on his face.

**Lily wasn't kidding when she said her sister hated magic.**

"Sure do! Wanna see it Daffodil?"

_Zing! Wrong name again!_

"No! Put that thing away!

"You sure there Orchid?" Lily rolled her eyes.

_And three strikes and you're out Black! She does not wanna see that wand!_

"Yes! And my name is Petunia!" said the older girl, finally realizing the name he had said.

"Okay then, wanna see it Petunia?"

_Does he never give up?_

**Ah, that's the Sirius I know and… well not love but getting her name wrong, and forgetting she's afraid of magic?**

"Still no!"

"Mum and dad Tuney! Let's go!"

They made their way to the front of the store, the employees looking at the four teens suspiciously.

"Tuney! Must we take them to meet mum and dad?" Lily asked one more time when their parents were just barley in view.

"yes! You've spent so much time talking about your friends, but never having us meet them, we were beginning to think that they were ghosts!"

**Awe! She talks about us?**

_I do not talk about these two toerags! I talk about Alice and Marleen and Beatrice!_

"But James Potter and Sirius Black are no friends of mine!"

**Harsh.**

"Too late Freak, here we are!"

**Freak?**

Lily's mum saw the two girls and hugged them tightly, as though they'd been separated for years rather than a few hours.

"Hey mum! Hiya dad" Said Petunia when she was released.

"Hello sweet heart!"

"Hi dear!"

"We're back you two, did you miss us?" Lily joked when she was released second.

"we sure did darling!"

"always honey!" their little reunion was cut short by the sound of someone clearing their throat. For the first time it seemed, Lily's parents looked past their daughters to see the two 17 year old boys standing awkwardly by them.

"Oh! Mum! I forgot to tell you! I met up with some… people I know from school! Tuney forced me to bring them to introduce you. This is James and his brother, Sirius."

"Hullo! James Potter, great to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Evans!"

"Hey, I'm Sirius, Sirius Black. Nice to meet you guys too!"

"Hi Sirius and James. We've heard so much about Lily's friends from school, it's nice to finally meet some of them!" said her mother.

_Oh mum! Don't get ahead of yourself! I'd hardly call Potter and Black friends!_

Lily made a strange gurgling noise in the back of her throat.

"Of course, you two are invited for dinner tonight, we'd love to get to know Lily's friends better." Her father invited.

"are you serious?" James asked, a huge grin on his face.

"No, I'm Sirius, but nice try there prong- James."

**Don't have noticed the prongs. Don't' have noticed the prongs. Don't' have noticed the prongs.**

"good one! Sirius, serious! Hah! But what was with the prongs comment?" Mr. Evans laughed.

"Oh, prongs is just a nickname. Sirius here is padfoot, our friend Remus Lupin is Moony, and our other friend, Peter Pettigrew is wormtail."

"oh, I see. But yes, I am serious." Said Mr. Evans, ignoring Sirius' comment of 'I'm still here!'

"Dad! Dad, you can't invite Potter over! Julie's coming over tonight!"

"the more the merrier!" Lily's mother exclaimed.

"Actually, mum, I'm going to Vernon's for dinner tonight, remember? I'm meeting his parents!" said Petunia, utter glee written all over her horse-like face.

"oh, that's right! You're going to meet vermin's parents! How silly! Looks like there really will be 3 extra places tonight, since Tuney and her walrus won't be eating with us! Don't look at me like that mum, you know that he eats for 2".

"I will look at you like that young lady! just because it's true, oh, don't look at _me_ like that Tuney! Just because its true, doesn't mean that you have to say it, and no Lillian, I am not agreeing with you."

"I'm just going to go and ask my mum now, if that's okay…" James said. He looked around quickly, and seeing no one but the Evans' around, grabbed Sirius turned on his heel and vanished.

"what… what was that? He just, disappeared!" Lily's mom yelled.

"Shh! Mum! He disapperated! Don't worry. He's from my school, remember? You've seen me come randomly into a room, it's the same principal!"

Once again, without a word of warning, James Potter and Sirius Black came striding towards the Evans' with a pretty black haired woman walking behind them. The woman turned out to be James' mother, and Sirius' adopted mum. After talking to the Evans' for a few minute, she hugged Mrs. Evans', smiling.

"Good Bye my sons! See you soon!" she exclaimed in a loud voice. She hugged both James and Sirius goodbye.

"goodbye mum! I love you!" James yelled.

"Bye Mum! Please bake me some cookies for when I get back!" Sirius smiled. With a final wave of goodbye, Mrs. Potter vanished much like her son had.

"So, ask you can guess, that was Mrs. Potter, and she said yes. We also decided that you boys would finish the remainder of your vacation staying with us! I hope that your bags are near because James. Sirius, for the next 2 weeks until school starts, you'll be staying in our guest bedroom!"


	3. In which the plot is in no way progresed

"_So, as you can guess, that was Mrs. Potter, and she said yes. We also decided that you boys would finish the remainder of your vacation staying with us! I hope that your bags are near because James. Sirius, for the next 2 weeks until school starts, you'll be staying in our guest bedroom!" _

Lily burst out laughing. She was laughing so hard, she was holding onto a shelf to keep herself up. She was laughing so hard she was crying. Everyone gave her a bewildered look, and waited until Lily calmed down.

"Sorry! I couldn't help it, dad! You know how you're always telling me to get my hearing checked? Well, I guess that you're right! For a second it sounded like you said that Potter and Black are staying at our house for the next two weeks!" Unable to contain it all, Lily once again broke down laughing.

"Um, Lily… that IS what I said. And I think that you should start calling them James and Sirius. Using their last names is too formal for someone who's going to be staying at your house." Her father said in a reproving tone. Lily looked at him, wide eyed and obviously in disbelief.

"But dad, they can't stay with us! Have you not heard me complaining about Potter for the past 6 years?" she spoke desperately.

_This is a worst nightmare come true! Potter and Black for 2 weeks, and no way of avoiding them! _

**Does she really complain about me that much? Nice to know that I leave that good of an impression on her!**

"I resemble that remark!" yelled James rather loudly. Lily simply ignored him. Sirius laughed, and her father gave her a disapproving look.

"Now Lily, I won't hear of it. They will stay with us, you will call them James and Sirius, and I will not catch you complaining about it, got that?" Lily's mother said strictly. "Why don't you use this time to show them around the muggy (Lily James and Sirius all mumbled that it was 'muggle') world? I'm sure that them being those purebloods or whatever, they don't know a lot about it! Why, you could be their guide!"

**I'm not stupid… but I would like to know a mite more about… what's the word? Tomsters? **

Lily, seeing no way out of this, simply looked at her shoes and nodded to her mother, her red curls bouncing with each nod. Rose Evan's sighed in relief, realizing that she had finally won the argument with her youngest daughter. Unfortunately for her, her other daughter was coming out of the shock she had gone into.

_Ugh! I can't believe that Potter and Black are staying! Damn it! I can't believe I have to use their first names! They are no friends of mine!_

"Mummy, I won't have it! I can't believe that you're going to let two more freaks into our home! It's bad enough with that one" here she indicated Lily, "but now I have to deal with the fact that there are two others, boys I might add, who are just as likely to hurt me?"

**Who're you calling a freak, horsey? Just a few minutes ago, you were on about how attractive you thought that I was!**

"Petunia! How dare you talk about your sister and guests that way! They do not deserve to be treated that way! You will apologize to them right now!" her father said, and Petunia was too shocked at her father's reproving tone to disagree.

_Wow, Tuney sure takes this wrong! I hope that she leaves! Wouldn't that be lovely! Two weeks without Petunia! _

"Well, we best get going, Lily! You said that Julia was coming at four, and it's 3:30 now, so that gives us half an hour, and we still have to get home, which will take 15 minutes so… let's all pile in boys!" said Lily's mother in a bright voice.

"Pile into where, Mrs. Evans?" Sirius asked in a doubtful voice.

"Why, into our car of course!" and with that, they all left the store and went out into the parking lot. Lily and Petunia were walking in silence, each dwelling on the fact that they had to spend 2 weeks with people they rather wouldn't. Sirius had started a conversation with Mister Evans about motorcycles (he was rather hoping that the 'car' that the older man spoke of was in fact some form of one), and James was talking to Mrs. Evans about everything.

When they arrived at the family's car, the smile disappeared from the old man's face when he realized that the car, thought large enough to fit 3 rather small females and himself, was nowhere near big enough to fit them all as well as the large boys, James and Sirius. Petunia noticing the problem let out a sigh of relief.

"well, the car's not big enough! Looks like they can't come to stay after all! Nice meeting you boys! I'd have rather liked you if you weren't such awful people!" said she in a rush.

"Hmm, yes, there does seem to be a problem… what do you think that we should do, Lilykins?" her mother asked, looking to her youngest daughter with large eyes.

"Um, well I guess that Po- James (wince) Sirius and I can apparate, since I know for a fact that we all can…"

"Yes! Yes we can apparate! We'll go back to the hotel to get the stuff there, and then to Potter Manor to get our school stuff form there! Then from there, your house!"

_Oh shit! What are the people at school going to think when they see me getting out of the car with Potter and Black on the first day of term? Shiiit! _

"Sounds great, Jamsie! Couldn't think of a better plan myself! Well, shall we?" Sirius added, throwing his arms around James and Lily. Lily rolled her eyes before extracting herself from Sirius.

Cringing slightly, she took one of Sirius' hands and finding that she didn't catch on fire or any other form of damage, took James' too. James practically beamed with happiness, while she was shocked to find that she wasn't grossed out by holding hands with Potter. In fact, she found that she was almost… enjoying it!

"See you later Lily, James and Sirius!" Lily's mother kissed her on the cheek.

"Bye mom! Oh! And if Julia gets there before I do, please-"Lily started, but was cut off as her parents disappeared, and it felt like she was being squeezed through a small tube.

When her feet finally touched ground, Lily gasped for breath before dropping to her knees to kiss the ground. She heard Sirius burst out laughing, so she looked up, pre-armed with her most deadly glare. When her eyes fell on him, she was rather shocked to discover that he wasn't looking at her, but rather beyond her. Confusedly following his line of sight, her eyes landed on the object of his laughter.

A little ways away from them, perhaps about 2 feet, was James, lying face down on the ground, surrounded by apples, flowers and luggage, with a rather confused looking old man pinned underneath his arm. Lily couldn't help but laugh at the situation as well.

It appeared that James had appararted and landed on a luggage cart. He had lost his balance, causing the luggage to take a tumble. Along with the luggage came James. It just so happened that at that exact moment, two men were passing directly in front of him; one carrying flowers and the other apples. He must have crashed into the two men, causing apple and flowers to go flying, before losing his footing again where the floor had been made slippery by one of the squashed apples. He had slipped, flailing his arms out desperately, knocking the poor old man to the ground as he himself had fallen.

The worst part was, the old man's wife had seen all this, realized that Sirius and Lily were with him, and chased the three teens up the stairs and into Sirius and James' room, beating them with her purse the whole time. She only stopped when they were all through the door, and even then she had sworn vengeance.

James and Sirius wasted no time in packing up their luggage, laughing the whole time about the poor old lady. Lily just stood awkwardly off to the side, trying not to be too jealous of how nice the room was.

"Alright, off to my house next. But I warn you Lily-kins (ignoring the muffled 'hey' from Lily), My family is rather… odd. Don't let them scare you away. Especially not Joel or Erin!" as he said this, he grabbed Sirius' wrist and Lily's hand, and they were once again met with the feeling of being forced through a rather small tube.

_**ALRIGHT GUYS, SO I'M SORRY IF THIS CHAPTER SUCKED MAJOR ASS, BUT I'VE HAD IT (HALF) WRTTEN FOR AGES, AND I DON'T THINK THAT I COULD LIVE WITH MYSELF I MADE YOU LVE ANYTHING LONG WITHOUT POSTING THE NEXT CHAPTER. SO HERE IT IS. DON'T BE SURPRISED IF IT GETS RANDOMDLY CHANGED IN THE FUTURE THOUGH. ANYWAYS, ENJOY, REVIEW, DON'T FLAME, AND ALL THAT LOVELY STUFF, DON'T HATE ME TOO MUCH, AND NEXT TIME, I'LL TRY TO POST IN THE RIGHT**_


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